Heading into 2020

Please note that this is an excerpt from my full Whitney French Writes newsletter. You can read the full newsletter HERE or subscribe to my monthly newsletter HERE to receive these messages directly in your inbox.

Me and my friend Njeri at the Word on the Street Festival

At the end of September, I spoke on a panel for the Word of the Street Festival and I was reluctant to advertise my appearance because I’ve have not the most positive experiences at the event in past. Even the decision to speak was complicated as I was asked by Diaspora Dialogues and unaware of the WOTS affliction. The more I do think type of work within CanLit the more I have to consider, why I am saying yes to this organizer, why am I speaking on this type of panel? But a beautiful thing happened, I reshifted my mindset and realized I was privileged to have a mic in front of me and an audience. And I had something to say. My incredible friend and fellow Afrofuturist Njeri Campbell featured my reading on her YouTube Channel Onyx Pages. So grateful to her for capturing this moment. It was worth it for sure. Click here for the full video or if feel free to fast forward to the 9 minute mark to see yours truly. 

End of October beach joint near Lakeshore. It's all breezy weather from here.

The future is looking bright. I have been so incredibly blessed this year (and also incredibly challenged, jeez) but in the end so many opportunities and experiences and good good people have crossed my path. I have to really consider how to stay balanced, especially with working with Dundurn and trying to maintain my community presence. Which begs the question: what this newsletter will look like in 2020? I honour and appreciate those of you who have read every newsletter since 2010 when all I had to share was one (unpaid) spoken word event. And for the new subscribers who’ve come on board with great enthusiasm and insight, so much love. I’m doing a lot of reflecting lately on the beauty of this newsletter, a medium to connect y’all that feels powerful, intimate and sincere. Social media can be great but in earnest, by realist moments of reflection come through in these newsletters. I’ve had coaches tell me I should “sell my product” when I have a following. Or promote my “brand” but I simply want to share what it is I’m doing in the world and appreciate every reply and comment I get back from you loyal readers.

Frenchie harvesting some end-of-season carrots at Black Creek Community Farm. Check out that mid-day sunshine

I know the framing of the newsletter will change as my writing practice and employment offerings change too. I’m excited and nervous but thank you all in advance for your patience and love. After saying goodbye to Writing While Black in my September newsletter, I realized that I haven’t been placing as much focus on my own novel I’m writing. More on that soon.

In the meanwhile, sending all the tender vibes, the cozy tea mug energy your way. Stay grounded and stay connected as winter approaches. Always happy to hear how you’re doing, living, surviving and thriving.

Until next time, Frenchie’s got you

The Practice of Not Writing

Please note that this is an excerpt from my full Whitney French Writes newsletter. You can read the full newsletter HERE or subscribe to my monthly newsletter HERE to receive these messages directly in your inbox.

Me by the Humber River, feeling myself

I know its sounds funny, but I am openly admitting to not writing. And I am still "writing", but lately this August was mostly about doing things that are not related to my work. Because the thing is, so much my work is more than a job. It’s tied to my identity, its the way that many folks have come to know me. They orient me in their minds as a writer. And usually I’m very proud about that. But also, after a whirlwind winter and spring, I made a list of non-writerly things to do this with my time:

+ rest
+ dance 
+ get involved with climate justice
+ put my hands in the dirt

So the first one I let my body take over. But to be honest, my mind kept telling me I was lazy, selfish and unproductive. It took me almost until August to finally allow myself permission to rest. Most of May, June and July was talking self-care but being captive to guilt and shame. 

After the rest, I wanted to dance! And having the opportunity to get down on the dance floor with my beautiful sisters was just the way to do it. For Afrofest’s afterparty, we had a nice get-down. And also, I’ve been dancing more in my mirror. Flirting with Afrobeat dance classes (still haven’t committed yet) and attending dance and movement-based shows to see how others move their bodies creatively. I’m so inspired!

Since May, I’ve been involved with the organizing group Artists for Climate and Migrant Justice and Indigenous Sovereignty, or ACMJIS for short. It’s been something I was a bit apprehensive about at first, I’ve had not the strongest affinity for environmental groups but this was different. I felt at home, I didn’t have to know everything. My role as an artist was respected and honoured. And it was good to be active towards such an important global cause like climate change. I’ve been growing and learning as well as serving, which is a stark difference from the leadership role I usually take on at work. Climate justice tethers into some many other social justice movements such as prison abolition, migrant rights, racial equity, labour rights, housing justice and others. Organizing work and relying on people power feels good in contrast to being at home for days writing away in solitude. 

Finally and the activity that gives me so much joy is growing food alongside the incredible folks at Sundance Harvest, a grassroots urban farming organization to mobilize, liberate and grow with Black, Indigenous and People of Colour. Growing up in Bradford, I've been around agriculture and farm-life but since moving to Toronto there has been a huge disconnect from the land. I live in an apartment building with no balcony and very little direct-facing light. After attempting to plant herbs, I had almost given up on growing all together. But it was small activities like harvesting beans, weeding, pruning tomatoes and watering garden beds through Sundance that has been a nourishing return to simple earth-based practices. When you are good to the Earth, she is good to you. And to be honest, the most restorative thing for me right now is to stick my hands in some soil. Shout out to Sundance Harvest, and if you're in Toronto you should check out the Seed Saving 101 Workshop.

So it's been a lovely balance of being in the world for most of July and August and less in my head. And as always, I invite you to share some of the activities you do that fill up your cup, especially to those of us who do work that defines us. I’m a human being first, a writer second. It’s always a nice reminder.

Until next time

The Projects That Bring Me Joy

Please note that this is an excerpt from my full Whitney French Writes newsletter. You can read the full newsletter HERE or subscribe to my monthly newsletter HERE to receive these messages directly in your inbox.

The pathway leading to my outdoor reading nook in Douglas, New Brunswick

As I mentioned in last month's newsletter, I went on a much-needed writing retreat. In the solace of Douglas, New Brunswick I found a small cottage owned by some of the nicest Airbnb hosts I've ever met. Every day I woke up early, made a cup of tea and went into this space, full of greenery and quiet...and wrote. Not an assigned essay, not editing someone else's work, but my own novel that has been getting little to no Whitney-time.

And we all have projects that we love that gets neglected. Heck! Whitney French Writes was originally a side-project while I had a day job to make me feel reconnected with my own love for the written word. Now, that project is my full-time, an intention that transitioned into a dream. And yet, more lucrative assignments have distracted me from the stories I want to tell.

This summer, I am redirecting my focus on this novel. Thanks to the jump-start with this retreat, the warm weather inviting me to be in nature more regularly and a very soon deadline for my manuscript to be completed, I feel good about the process.

I'm hoping whatever projects bring you joy, you can water them this summer and don't let them dry out in the sun. It doesn't have to be as ambitious as a novel, but even if it's something small, it always helps to share, to have a buddy to keep you accountable, and to have a reminder that it's ok that you're busy. Question is, are you living?

Sending all the love and warm and fun a July can offer. Until next time...

You are Enough: A PSA from Frenchie

Please note that this is an excerpt from my full Whitney French Writes newsletter. You can read the full newsletter HERE or subscribe to my monthly newsletter HERE to receive these messages directly in your inbox.

A strange thing happened. My confidence bottomed out post-anthology.

As many of you know, I put out a book called Black Writers Matter that was released in February, by many standards a successful project, making its way to bookstores across the country to great reviews. And yet, my confidence —once all the interviews and launch parties and promoting died down — plummeted. I mentioned in my last newsletter that I was taking some much-needed rest. Which was joyful and delicious but also hard after months of being on the go. My body was rejoicing while my mind was racing. I was having a difficult time answering the question:
What are you doing?
The book is over, are you still important?

That nasty self-talk is real out here. And I know in my heart it’s just negativity getting the best of me. But it's still there, and when you’re practicing rest, not constantly running around, it's even more difficult to run from.

I thought burn-out was rough.

Later on in the May I went to a zine launch, two of my fab students from the Story Reno Studio program that I’ve facilitated in the past teamed up to create the not for you. zine. Check out their Instagram account here. That evening was so incredible. By the time I got there and went to hug the awesome sparkly-new editors, they both bombarded me with love. Like, over and over again, emphasizing on how much of an impact I had on their writing journey. This is not to toot my own horn about how great of a facilitator I am. This was the medicine I needed: to know that the work I do is valid. The person who I am has an effect on people. It was tearful, cathartic and healing after weeks of feeling less than.

Often we set goals, whether they are work related or life-related and if we’re lucky, we achieve those goals. We celebrate with the ones we love. And then…there’s a lull. It’s natural. It’s healthy. Coming back to Toronto I’m confronted with the question: what’s the next project? And I am filled with DREAD. Not that I don’t want to continue the work and keep writing, but that I am expected to, expected to do it better. And there are people…watching!

So those students nourished me with their sincerity and appreciation. They were happy that I was there. That I was present, I was in the moment for their celebration and for the first time in weeks, I felt like that was enough.

***

What are the ways that you have an impact on people’s lives? Is it the work you do? Is it the relationships you cultivate? Is it the way you care for others? Is the way you carry yourself? Own it. Don’t be shy or modest but step into the impact you have and know it's enough. I needed the reminder, maybe you do too. Feel free share with me, it's always so special getting messages from the newsletter.

Sending you all the vibes in all the world. Happy June, Happy Pride. Until next time

We Made it...May!

Please note that this is an excerpt from my full Whitney French Writes newsletter. You can read the full newsletter HERE or subscribe to my monthly newsletter HERE to receive these messages directly in your inbox.

Papaya Strawberry bowl with fresh fruit, raisins, coconut flakes, goji berries and flax seed.

aaaaand rest…

Burn out is not the word. Utter exhaustion is more accurate. Frenchie has been beyond extended on all fronts: physically, mentally, spiritually. Giving so much into this book project, giving so much to community, giving to those around. It’s a beautiful life to be doing exactly what I want to be doing, but rest is so very necessary. The month of May is about keeping things easy. And resting. These are the things I am committed to. Award-winning writer and good friend Alicia Elliot writes a column for Open Book, On Burn Out that resonates so deeply:


“I want to fill my creative reserves back up. More than that, though, I want to feel like a person again.”


I hear you, Alicia. My plan for this month, and maybe even longer, is to give myself permission to rest. To read. To see all the dopest plays and arts shows and films. I’m going to call up my friends who probably thought I disappeared into the abyss. I’m going to go bike riding with my dad, hang with my sisters, hit up the museum with my mom. I’m setting boundaries.

It has been a very long time since I was this burnt out. What are the ways you recover? Do you ever feel guilty for resting, do you accuse yourself of being “lazy” even though all your body wants is a split second of rest. What are the things that nourish you? I am so grateful for the success of the book, but at this moment, I’m very grateful for a month to breath. I’m still doing the story doctoring work, and supporting young folks with their stories. But now, my calendar isn’t full. My suitcase isn’t packed.

I’m settling in. And I don’t know what’s coming next.