The Practice of Not Writing
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Me by the Humber River, feeling myself
I know its sounds funny, but I am openly admitting to not writing. And I am still "writing", but lately this August was mostly about doing things that are not related to my work. Because the thing is, so much my work is more than a job. It’s tied to my identity, its the way that many folks have come to know me. They orient me in their minds as a writer. And usually I’m very proud about that. But also, after a whirlwind winter and spring, I made a list of non-writerly things to do this with my time:
+ rest
+ dance
+ get involved with climate justice
+ put my hands in the dirt
So the first one I let my body take over. But to be honest, my mind kept telling me I was lazy, selfish and unproductive. It took me almost until August to finally allow myself permission to rest. Most of May, June and July was talking self-care but being captive to guilt and shame.
After the rest, I wanted to dance! And having the opportunity to get down on the dance floor with my beautiful sisters was just the way to do it. For Afrofest’s afterparty, we had a nice get-down. And also, I’ve been dancing more in my mirror. Flirting with Afrobeat dance classes (still haven’t committed yet) and attending dance and movement-based shows to see how others move their bodies creatively. I’m so inspired!
Since May, I’ve been involved with the organizing group Artists for Climate and Migrant Justice and Indigenous Sovereignty, or ACMJIS for short. It’s been something I was a bit apprehensive about at first, I’ve had not the strongest affinity for environmental groups but this was different. I felt at home, I didn’t have to know everything. My role as an artist was respected and honoured. And it was good to be active towards such an important global cause like climate change. I’ve been growing and learning as well as serving, which is a stark difference from the leadership role I usually take on at work. Climate justice tethers into some many other social justice movements such as prison abolition, migrant rights, racial equity, labour rights, housing justice and others. Organizing work and relying on people power feels good in contrast to being at home for days writing away in solitude.
Finally and the activity that gives me so much joy is growing food alongside the incredible folks at Sundance Harvest, a grassroots urban farming organization to mobilize, liberate and grow with Black, Indigenous and People of Colour. Growing up in Bradford, I've been around agriculture and farm-life but since moving to Toronto there has been a huge disconnect from the land. I live in an apartment building with no balcony and very little direct-facing light. After attempting to plant herbs, I had almost given up on growing all together. But it was small activities like harvesting beans, weeding, pruning tomatoes and watering garden beds through Sundance that has been a nourishing return to simple earth-based practices. When you are good to the Earth, she is good to you. And to be honest, the most restorative thing for me right now is to stick my hands in some soil. Shout out to Sundance Harvest, and if you're in Toronto you should check out the Seed Saving 101 Workshop.
So it's been a lovely balance of being in the world for most of July and August and less in my head. And as always, I invite you to share some of the activities you do that fill up your cup, especially to those of us who do work that defines us. I’m a human being first, a writer second. It’s always a nice reminder.
Until next time