You are Enough: A PSA from Frenchie
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A strange thing happened. My confidence bottomed out post-anthology.
As many of you know, I put out a book called Black Writers Matter that was released in February, by many standards a successful project, making its way to bookstores across the country to great reviews. And yet, my confidence —once all the interviews and launch parties and promoting died down — plummeted. I mentioned in my last newsletter that I was taking some much-needed rest. Which was joyful and delicious but also hard after months of being on the go. My body was rejoicing while my mind was racing. I was having a difficult time answering the question:
What are you doing?
The book is over, are you still important?
That nasty self-talk is real out here. And I know in my heart it’s just negativity getting the best of me. But it's still there, and when you’re practicing rest, not constantly running around, it's even more difficult to run from.
I thought burn-out was rough.
Later on in the May I went to a zine launch, two of my fab students from the Story Reno Studio program that I’ve facilitated in the past teamed up to create the not for you. zine. Check out their Instagram account here. That evening was so incredible. By the time I got there and went to hug the awesome sparkly-new editors, they both bombarded me with love. Like, over and over again, emphasizing on how much of an impact I had on their writing journey. This is not to toot my own horn about how great of a facilitator I am. This was the medicine I needed: to know that the work I do is valid. The person who I am has an effect on people. It was tearful, cathartic and healing after weeks of feeling less than.
Often we set goals, whether they are work related or life-related and if we’re lucky, we achieve those goals. We celebrate with the ones we love. And then…there’s a lull. It’s natural. It’s healthy. Coming back to Toronto I’m confronted with the question: what’s the next project? And I am filled with DREAD. Not that I don’t want to continue the work and keep writing, but that I am expected to, expected to do it better. And there are people…watching!
So those students nourished me with their sincerity and appreciation. They were happy that I was there. That I was present, I was in the moment for their celebration and for the first time in weeks, I felt like that was enough.
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What are the ways that you have an impact on people’s lives? Is it the work you do? Is it the relationships you cultivate? Is it the way you care for others? Is the way you carry yourself? Own it. Don’t be shy or modest but step into the impact you have and know it's enough. I needed the reminder, maybe you do too. Feel free share with me, it's always so special getting messages from the newsletter.
Sending you all the vibes in all the world. Happy June, Happy Pride. Until next time