I'm the Venom and the Antidote (June Newsletter 2018)
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DRIVEN :: FOCUS :: FLYING
I do not know where to begin. I was going to begin with a powerful metaphor that would relate to the experiences that are happening in my life. And I love doing that (a tree, a ripple in the lake, a volcano) but I’m going to give it to you straight because I love you all, every single person reading my newsletter. Imma come correct.
I am gay.
I haven’t told my family. I haven’t told my friends. But I’m here telling you all. I foresee people unsubscribing to my newsletter. I foresee losing clients. If that is the case, I will be sad but I’ll welcome it knowing that they were not really here for my growth, my business and my personhood. If you’re still reading, thank you for still reading.
There is something especially queer about being vulnerable with community, with chosen-family, with an intimate group of people who have your back and are riding with you. So Happy Pride y’all. I want to talk about what it means to be my full self in my community, in my business and in my life.
I am mad driven.
I have so much drive right now and I am grateful that I’ve arrived at this place where my purpose is so undeniably clear and crystallized and true. I have days I don’t want to get out of bed, I have days when I feel like an imposter, but I always have days that are just days. And I am driven to make the very most out of them. That doesn’t always have to be producing things (like writing, or events or tasks) but it can be learning something new, listening to my roommate, understanding something new about myself.
I am focused.
As I write this I’m nervous that my focus will wane but in this moment, I am aware of not just what I want, but how to get it. I also know that there are so many unknowns. Countless possible endings that I must surrender to. My new found definition of focus isn’t about rigid concentration but maintaining intention around something that really matters to me. My writing is that focus. Even when I get distracted. Even when I’m not “writing” on the page. My writing captivates my intention and my intention is to captivate my energy towards my writing.
I am flying.
My personal life (see proclamation above) my business life and my writing life has taken a huge shift post-Nemaska. It’s more than just “look at all the good things happening” revelation. I can no longer take anything for grated. The blessings are very obvious these days and I know when I am in a darker place in future these blessings will be much more subtle. But they will still be there. So that is enough of a reason to fly.
Wherever you are in life, your business or your practice, know that Frenchie has got you in her heart. That she’s rooting for you to be liberated from societal expectations, and she anticipates your arrival to your fullest self. I am a work-in-progress. Frenchie-Today, Past-Frenchie and Future-Frenchie co-exist. There’s no competition who’s the best version. I am grateful to be all of the above.
Until next time faithful readers!